Jiggle in the Middle

Ok, as if I don't already have enough "meat" in my midsection, now I feel as if my ovaries are bulging out! My normal-sized pants were so tight today that when I was sitting in the car, I had to unbutton and unzip them to feel comfortable. I suppose this is a good thing b/c it means my 11 follies are growing nice and big for ER next week. But it just makes me think about how unfair it is that we have to go through all of this for a child. I always imagined that those first "fullness" feelings would result in complete elation b/c of being pregnant - not TTC.

Another thing about all of this is that I feel these uncomforts/pangs and find myself wondering . . . for example, "is it indigestion or the meds causing that twinging in my chest? or is the pain in my back from my awlful bad back or the meds?" These injections are a necessary evil and it saddens me to think that there is only a 50/50 chance (at least for me) that this will even result in a baby. And I know many couples have worse odds and it still happens. So I am trying to stay positive but I don't want to be let down too hard. What to do, what to think? It is a big deal, but I sometimes think if I don't make it out to be such a big deal then it will happen or maybe I need to make it a huge deal so that God sees just how much I (and DH) want children. But then I think, "doesn't God know what is the truth in our hearts and souls?"

I am just so nervous about tomorrow's u/s but I am not sure why b/c the u/s' have brought pretty good news so far. Yet I know how easily that can all change. Guess I just have to wait and see.